Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
