so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
