like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
