is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
