I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
