I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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