i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
