Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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