Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
