If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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