I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize