All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
