I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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