what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
