I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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