You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
