you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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