We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
