I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
