im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize