idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
