he puts the penis in happiness.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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