More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ate ashes out of my bong
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize