Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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