apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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