i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize