Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
