she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
