im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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