I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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