You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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