Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
