Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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