Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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