mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize