I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
