i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
