thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
