i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
