I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
