If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
