We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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