yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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