First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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