Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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