so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
