Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
