I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You were trust falling into bushes
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
