The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
