YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
