He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
