sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
