yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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