I feel like abortions should bother me more
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
