woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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