i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
