it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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