I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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