OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
