Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
