OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
