i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
