I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
