We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
