just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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