yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
