Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
